i'm sorry....

one thing that we have been trying to impress upon ella is the importance of apologizing and forgiveness. we believe it is important for her to recognize what she did wrong, who was harmed/wronged in the process, to approach that person, look in their eyes, apologize for "blank" and ask for forgiveness, then hug. well...you know how i also believe that our children are here to sanctify us? they certainly do. several weeks ago, it hit me, when have i ever apologized and asked for forgiveness from ella? with big, obvious things, of course i do! but what i became convicted of is that i don't do that in the little things...like when my tone of voice is not what it should be or when i say something harshly or when i don't do what i say i was going to. that was a hard pill to swallow! until then it had not occurred to me to apologize to her and ask for forgiveness for my actions in those small things. but those small things really are big things. my voice will be the words in her head one day; my tone will carry through years; and not keeping promises certainly hurts the trust in our relationship. and maybe it's because she is now 4 1/2 and we are both more aware of our actions toward each other; she is able to understand much more. maybe i'm the only one coming across this, seemingly a little late, but maybe not. so i wanted to share my shortcomings in case it might help someone else. (o: love your littles as much as you can squeeze in every minute of every day

soft gentle words

i don't watch much tv, mainly because i don't have time and because there is not that much on that is worth watching but i love, love the duggar's!! and i love to let ella watch them--what great examples of well behaved children! i have watched many episodes but on one episode michelle said something keeps coming back over and over again in my head. the producers had asked her something in the interview segment about her tone of voice or if she ever yelled or something--because she never ever yells, she has a consistent pleasant voice. her response was that years ago when their children were young, she made a conscious choice to make sure she never raised her voice. raising your voice usually doesn't accomplish anything productive. i'm not really a yeller but that has stuck with me for months. i realized after watching that episode that i do sometimes talk louder and sometimes too firmly with ella and most importantly it almost never has to do with something she has done...it is almost always because i am upset, irritated or frustrated about something (sometimes even her (o;). i have realized over the last several months that speaking with a soft kind voice especially when disciplining that ella can listen and understand my words much better. and i think having girls makes that even moreso important; they (or at least mine) are so sensitive. i don't want to say anything harshly that would deter them from talking to me in the future about anything. i want to have a close relationship with both girls so that they feel like they can talk to me about anything at any age. i don't remember if michelle referred to a bible verse or not but i think of proverbs 15:1--"a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" so thank you michelle duggar for allowing God to speak through you...