Friday, April 20, 2012

soft gentle words

i don't watch much tv, mainly because i don't have time and because there is not that much on that is worth watching but i love, love the duggar's!! and i love to let ella watch them--what great examples of well behaved children! i have watched many episodes but on one episode michelle said something keeps coming back over and over again in my head. the producers had asked her something in the interview segment about her tone of voice or if she ever yelled or something--because she never ever yells, she has a consistent pleasant voice. her response was that years ago when their children were young, she made a conscious choice to make sure she never raised her voice. raising your voice usually doesn't accomplish anything productive. i'm not really a yeller but that has stuck with me for months. i realized after watching that episode that i do sometimes talk louder and sometimes too firmly with ella and most importantly it almost never has to do with something she has done...it is almost always because i am upset, irritated or frustrated about something (sometimes even her (o;). i have realized over the last several months that speaking with a soft kind voice especially when disciplining that ella can listen and understand my words much better. and i think having girls makes that even moreso important; they (or at least mine) are so sensitive. i don't want to say anything harshly that would deter them from talking to me in the future about anything. i want to have a close relationship with both girls so that they feel like they can talk to me about anything at any age. i don't remember if michelle referred to a bible verse or not but i think of proverbs 15:1--"a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" so thank you michelle duggar for allowing God to speak through you...

the things you say you will never do....

it is amazing how we think and say that we will never do things and then we do...like all those things your parents said to you and now you do to your own kids. one thing i have been torn about lately is something that most people don't talk about...co-sleeping. when sophia was born, she slept in a little crib in our room. she did this until about 8 months old. then at 8 months, she was waking up so upset either because of her tummy or her teeth or she just needed to be comforted. at that point i put her in the bed and for the first time in 8 months she slept all night!!! it was amazing! and there she has been since then. i know that she will need to move to her own bed in her own room soon but i am realizing how short this baby stage is, even more so than with our first child. i cannot believe sophia will be a year old in may; it has gone by so much quicker this time. i thought things had to be very "by the book" with our first, ella. i thought she had to have this fairly strict eating schedule, had to sleep in her bed at every single night, and it still breaks my heart that we let her cry it out many nights. i'm not saying that those are bad things...i just know now that i should have been a bit more laid back about those things. so i am soaking up those sweet little feet in my ribs at night...the midnight wakings for a cuddle...the holding hands while she goes to sleep. i know some people say that babies should be able to self soothe and sleep on their own by this age but i am realizing more and more that babies just need to be close to their parents. even ella, now 4 1/2, just wants to be with us, during the day at night, whenever. and i want that too....childhood goes by too quickly...too soon they will be teenage girls who don't want to hang out with us old people (o: like my other post, we were made to be dependent on one another and i can't think of a more perfect example than a sweet little baby and her precious big sister.